At least the spambots visit me...

Famously anonymous

Secret lives of the Michelin inspectors and here , and on twitter.

Cannibal commercial

Names have not been named to protect the gastronomically guilty

Funny how this (ie, snacks at a hotel bar located near the Champs Elysees)


titilated my taste buds more than this (ie one of the most famous Michelin starred establishments in Paris):

McMacaroons

McDonald's macarons from Ladurée.

Anyone seen this yet? The McCafé offering hamburgeresque macarons from Holder (ie, owner of Ladurée).

Jardin familale (or Fun with Gourds)

BBQ and gardening in the 'hood under the last rays of summer sunshine in one of the disappearing 'jardins familiaux', or 'workmen's gardens', popular years ago, but now dwindling away. Located in often less than desirable (but close) Parisian suburbs, these establishments are large (my friend's measures 150 m2), private (access with key only), and convivial (old, drunk Portuguese garden neighbors) , cabana for storing essentials (ie, alcohol and BBQ grill wood and charcoal). And the icing on the cake is that it costs only 92 € for the yearly rent! Oh, and there is a two year waiting list...

Despite all that, I forsee a new trend in hip gardening and organic staycation weekends. Watch this space.

Lazy mood today- a little French fast food. (from Gault et Millaut's 2008 Best Butcher, Christophe Martin).

Proposed this idea a thousand times to trusted editors months ago, and no one bit. Oh well, I guess the greater denominator is and always has been not so cutting edge. And, wow!, two of the hot bars featured (wondered why I'd never heard of them..) are the author's own locals, on her street meme!

Marché de Barbès

North African pastries at nearby Barbès bakery


Arab and Berber women selling homemade filled crepes in front of the Barbès metro



I've always been a rabid devotee of the highest end food purveyors in Paris, but lately , I think la crise has been giving everyone pause for thought , including moi meme. . This morning's visit of the Marché de Barbès in Paris' "Goutte d'Or" neighborhood was in part motivated by the silly idea that the market might be less crowded because of Ramadan (or so a friend of mine told me) , and as the fridge was empty ....

The market was jam packed, and I drove my caddy with glee over a number of people's toes in an effort to scarf up those 99 cent kilos of coeur de boeuf tomatoes (Provence) and 50 cent ripe mangos. Next time I'll hit them at closing time and scarf up the real deals.

Monkey's Groovy Bar and Funky Food

One day after shopping for my asian food product fix at the nearby Paris Store in Belleville, I passed by this strangely decorated bar/resto, thinking nothing of it, other than it looked, just, well, out of place, with an omnipresent stylized ape logo, and multicolored furniture, it didn't look quite right. Then a couple of trusted friends told me that their burgers were, in the words of one, 'legendary'. So I had to check it out. It turns out the chef did time in the kitchens of the Meurice, and ended up associating himself with Nicolas Barthelemy, an Oberkampf bar owner who wanted to change 'hoods.

I dropped by this afternoon to check it out, and ordered their no. 2, a minced lamb burger, with coriander, ginger, Thai basil all enveloped in a cereal bun, accompanied with home cut frites. Everything seemed fresh and homemade, although the fries were a little cold, and the bottom part of the burger disintegrated halfway through eating it. The music was moody and funky, service very friendly, and the beer and food (4€ for the pint of Stella, 10€ the burger) reasonably priced. Other burgers include satay sauced chicken, beef with thyme, mozza, pickles and beefheart tomato, and even a veggy version for the effete set.

The bar and kitchen are open until 2am, making this an interesting alternative to other nearby bobo Belleville bars (Aux Folies, Café Cherie, etc)

PS Apologies for the iPhone pic...


Monkey's
68 boulevard de la Villette, 19th
+33.1.40.18.08.10

The Blackberryfication of the Concierge

I should have seen this coming a mile away. . I can just imagine those corporate eggheads at Hyatt ground zero saying to themselves, 'How could we possible offer more service?' ie , give hopped up, pain-in-the-ass clients even more ways to spend their time in complete verbal masturbation with hotel staff, in order to avoid the wide-eyed, middle of the night terror of not having that perfectly organized hotel trip.

Then again, maybe it's genius.

Chilled glass of rosé on the Canal is beckoning...

L'Oscar

Oscar: Simple, good value on the edge of the Triangle d'Or. Tiny, expensive sidestreet in the 16th, just behind the avenue Marceau. 21€, three course lunch menu. Chicken salad with tomatoes, green beans, carrot, beetroot, and Parmesan. Excellent steak tartar (normally if it's not coupé au couteau, I won't touch it).Expertly mixed with ketchup, tabasco, etc etc, served with fresh potatoes. OK fondant au chocolat. . But at this price, it's hard to complain.


L'Oscar
6 rue de Chaillot, 75116 Paris
+33.1.47.20.26.92

Ari - Mme Shawn's Thai concept trainwreck

I knew I shouldn't have. I really did. But sometimes after a few too many glasses we all make stupid dining plans. Last night's was particularly disastrous, even more so coming from a restaurateur that I've been frequenting for a long time.

I've been going to Madame Shawn's discreet little Thai bistro for a few years now, and although I know it's not the most authentic , and that their staff seem to change mysteriously with each ship coming in from Bangkok, I've always been able to trust their food quality and consistency. In the last couple of years, Madame Shawn has built a sort of empire, with new establishments popping up in the upper Marais, the 11th, the 16th and two others near her original restaurant near the Canal Saint Martin.

The most recent opening is Ari, in what was formerly Le Sporting, a sort of fusion place with Asian, French and Asian/French specialties. The staff weren't really able to explain the concept, (or even speak much French to tell the truth) , but none of the dishes seemed to be done correctly with a general confusion pervading the room when dishes showed up. We probably should have left at this point, except that the lady who runs the place we knew from the original Madame Shawn was so happy to see us, the terrace was full of apparently happy, good looking people ,and those four pints....

We decided to keep it simple. I took the green papaya salad with dried beef. Why, I don't know, but Madame Shawn's original Som Tam is my favorite in Paris. Here it was a total miss. Not spiced enough, and covered in strips of blackened, tough meat. The Asian "Brie burger" proved to be pretty much inedible, dry, piled too high with ingredients to eat, and accompanied by frozen potato wedges.

Funnily enough, throughout the meal, images of Kitchen Nightmares were going through my head, with Chef Ramsey lurching off to the bathroom to retch. That feeling was reinforced when seeing a kitchen staff member leave men's room without washing hands.

So sorry Madame Shawn, with all due respect, there's no saving this place in it's current form. Advice: Reduce the menu drastically to simple "exotic" snacks, chic comfort foods, crank the ambient music, and turn this trainwreck of a concept into a Canal friendly lounge that'll pay the bills along the line and keep your rep unsallied.

Le Grand Venise

Vegetable "amuse bouche"

Charcuterie

Mussels in creamy lime sauce

Favas

Antipasti Armegeddon

Langoustines served with home made tartar

Tower of caramel ice cream


It's almost a shame to publicize my recent meal at Paris' most discreet insider Italian. Located in the residential fifteenth far from the center, and run by the amazing Marina (who, though far from young, still goes to Rungis immediately after the dinner service ends at 1 or 2 am), this place is packed with well-heeled families and foreigners, celebs, magnates, most of whom would eat nowhere else. The dining room is a bit kitch, filled with flowers and plants, the food over the top with the very best ingredients in copious amounts, service pro, the perfect place to go with a large group of friends for the table topping generosity of this hidden gem.

A typical meal starts off with a basket of garden vegetables, gorgonzola, mascapone, two types of butter, olives, superb homemade olive oils and balsamic vinegar and freshly toasted bread. This is best followed by the platter of charcuterie (Parma ham, mortadella, salami, coppa, pancetta) and/or the massive antipasti platter with fava beans, mussels in a creamy lime sauce, marinated peppers, fritto misti, aubergines, fried onions, followed by a very correct tagliatelli carbonara, and their famous towering block of homemade caramel ice cream accompanied by cherries with cinnamon and cloves. All washed down with champagne served in frosty glasses and small run Toscan wines.

Be forewarned: it's expensive but worth it, kind of like an Italian Ami Louis.

PS Sorry for the iPhotos, but I was more into eating and drinking than archiving...

Barthélemy Aggro

Funny how people can be such inbred jerkoffs. I was just fact checking a piece I just wrote for the BBC's gourmet food magazine and called up the famous fromagerie to confirm the price of their Vacherin. It went something like this (translated from the Frog of course):

"Hello. I'm writing an article for the BBC magazine olive and I'd just like to check the price on a cheese please"

"Ah, let me get you the manager". (in the background, off phone "Patrrrroonn, une magazine veut vous parler")

Another person on the line, most probably Roland Barthélemy: "I'm not interested". Click. The bastard hung up on me! I feel anger at the rude, overrated French artisan who probably likes to BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP

...but, I call back.

"Hello, you just hung up on me."

Him: "I told you I'm not interested. I'm busy". Preparing to hang up.

Me: " You are being rude. And anyway, you're in the article whether you like it or not. If you want correct information published about your establishment, all you have to do is tell me".

Him: "I'm busy". Hangs up.

Luckily there are legions of other fromageries offering comparable quality cheese at much more reasonable prices.

And with friendlier service.

And he is so out of the article.

Rocking out with my gastronomic cock out

Oth Sombath nouvelle cuisine Thai

Steam cooked langoustines

Filet of sea bass and lime cooked in a banana leaf

Filet of beef with orange curry sauce

Sweet water chestnut with coconut cream


Here are a few photos from my recent meal at Oth Sombath, a nouvelle Thai

The space age, Patrick Jouin designed dining room is a pretty impressive three room duplex space, like something out of the Jetsons (upstairs feels a little claustrophobic). The chef has a pretty good pedigree (Blue Elephant, Banyan, his own place in Saint Trop), and , to tell the truth, I really didn't know what to expect. But the meal was pretty excellent. They're not afraid of spicing up dishes right from the start, but things seemed to be less exciting towards the end. Highlights included the Tom Kha Kai, a free range chicken, coconut and galanga soup (superb, light), the Keang Massaman Neua, beef fillet with orange curry (curry a little watery and not as potent as the spices for the opening dishes), and Ta Ko, a superb dessert, coconut cream with water chestnuts.

Rice and Fish - Cheap and Cheerful

Another of the French food critics darlings (Figaro, le fooding) , this friendly little sushi resto, located on a semi-pedestrian side street sandwiched on the periphery of skanky Chatelet and Sentier and the bobo-ish shopping street Etienne Marcel has morphed into one of the most popular Asians in town. Run by San Franciscan Andy , who trained in the You Ess Ay, Rice and Fish offers inexpensive (though not mindblowing) makis, sushi and chirashi. Service is friendly although they seem a bit overwhelmed by the demand (forgotten napkins, no spider crab, no deep fried ice cream), the food is decent, though not surprising in any way and the terrace a nice place to hang under the sun drinking chilled Kirin (although I did spill half of mine all over my trousers while watching a pretty girl walk by, much to the amusement of the neighboring tables..)

Hmmmm